5 worries people have about taking part in workplace mediation

If you've been asked to take part in workplace mediation, it's completely normal to feel anxious.

Most people don't arrive thinking, "This sounds like a great idea."

They arrive with a head full of questions.

Over the years, I've heard many of the same worries come up again and again. If you're feeling nervous about mediation, perhaps you've asked yourself some of these too.

"Am I in trouble?"

No.

This is probably the question I hear most often.

People often assume mediation is the first step towards disciplinary action or that someone has decided they've done something wrong.

It isn't.

Mediation is voluntary. It's a chance to resolve a conflict before relationships become even more difficult. No one is there to decide who's right or who's wrong.

The focus is simply finding a way to work together more positively in the future.

"What if I get upset?"

Then you get upset.

You're human.

Workplace conflict can be incredibly stressful. By the time people arrive at mediation they've often been carrying weeks or even months of worry, frustration and hurt.

There's absolutely no expectation that you have to hold everything together.

My job is to create a safe space where those conversations can happen respectfully and without judgement.

"What if they won't listen to me?"

This is another really common fear.

Often people come into mediation because they feel they've never truly been heard.

One of my roles as the mediator is making sure everyone has the opportunity to speak without interruption and everyone has the opportunity to be heard.

That doesn't mean everyone has to agree.

But everyone deserves the chance to explain how they've experienced the situation.

"Do I have to agree with everything that's suggested?"

Not at all.

You remain in control throughout the process.

If something doesn't feel fair or doesn't feel workable, you don't have to agree to it.

The agreement is created together.

There's very little point in agreeing to something you'll never be happy to follow once you leave the room.

The aim is to create something that genuinely works for everyone involved.

"Will everyone find out what was said?"

No.

Confidentiality is one of the most important parts of mediation.

What you discuss during mediation stays within that process unless everyone involved agrees otherwise.

I'm independent. I don't report back to your manager or HR with details of your conversations.

Usually the only thing that leaves the room is the agreement you've all chosen to make, and only the people involved in the mediation are given a copy of that.

If you're feeling worried about mediation, I hope one thing stands out above everything else.

You don't have to have all the answers before you walk through the door.

You don't have to be perfectly calm.

You don't even have to know exactly what you want to say.

You simply have to be willing to have the conversation.

Everything else, we'll work through together.